She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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