You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
