I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
