Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I deserve to be covered in dicks
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
