i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He has the fingertips of a God
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