you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Randomize
