i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
