we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Randomize
