Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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