He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
