im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
