theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
