She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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