You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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