Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
