How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
