I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My feet surprised me
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