He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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