her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
