so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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