I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
