I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
