ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I have fence marks all over my body
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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