remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
His nipple licking is glorious
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