Nicole vs. Life
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
