His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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