hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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