I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
