I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
