New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She just used a chaser for red wine.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
