so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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