Will you blow on my dice?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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