in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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