I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
