im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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