ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
