too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
