he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
