You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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