The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
