i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Found your dick twin last night
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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