how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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