I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
