Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
