My entire life is one complicated drinking game
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
