never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
