She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
