I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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