from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize