just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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