She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
