I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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