I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i think my cat just said my name.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
