So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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