dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
