You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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