a queef is a wish your heart makes.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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