there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
