Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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